In recent weeks, I've talked with a good friend a lot about how we find ourselves minimizing our pain. In that I mean that we tend to forget what was so bad. We tend to tell ourselves that things aren't so bad, while in the light of day it truly is.
The main problem with this, is that you find yourself thinking you don't have a reason to hurt. You don't have a reason to leave. You don't feel worthy of wanting better treatment for yourself, because it's not so bad to begin with.
This is an illusion you create for yourself.
The truth of it all is that we forget the impact of words. Being in a relationship with someone who hurts you verbally can be a confusing, spiralling place of logic. You feel the most alone, and you constantly question yourself. It'd be almost easier if you were with someone who hit you -- sure it'd hurt a lot worse, but you'd never question whether you were being hurt. There would be a visible bruise. But in relationships with verbal abuse, there are no welts and bruises. Nothing to be seen. You tend to forget, to minimize the hits, all while a major scar is forming below the surface.
The impact of words.
